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Saturday, September 17, 2011

Hope

Hope
is like the sun, which, as we journey
toward it, casts the shadow of our
burden behind
us.

ACUSTOMED TO THE DARKNESS

And this is the judgment: the light
has come into the world, and
people loved the darkness rather
than the light because their works
were evil. John 3:19
Ask an American for a symbol which
represents freedom and most will
mention the Statue of Liberty or the
Liberty Bell.
Ask a Frenchman the same
question and he will probably speak
of the Bastille.
Originally built as a fortress during
the Hundred Years' War, the
Bastille Saint-Antoine was
transformed into a prison, a place
where political undesirables were
sent. It was commonly felt that folks
who went in never came out.
That's why when the leaders of the
French Revolution were looking for
a cause around which they could
rally the people, freeing the poor
souls of the Bastille became a top
priority. Indeed, the day the
Bastille's prisoners were liberated
continues to be regarded as the
birthday of freedom in France.
Now I know you won't be surprised
if I tell you there is a rest of the
story.
It seems that one prisoner, a man
who had been locked in his cell for
years, was also released. The crowd
expected to see the man's heart
filled with joy and his face beaming
with uncontrolled gratitude. That's
what they expected, but that's not
what happened.
The man, accustomed to the dark,
immediately put his head down and
tried to shield his eyes from the
sun's glare. Then, almost without
hesitation he begged to be taken
back to his hole. It was obvious, his
heart had only one desire: to die in
the darkness.
How's that for a sad story?
Even worse, on a spiritual level, that
man's story is constantly being
repeated.
For almost 2,000 years the Gospel
has been preached. By the Holy
Spirit's power, hundreds upon
hundreds of millions have been
brought to faith and acknowledged
Jesus Christ as their personal
Savior from sin and as the living
Light of a sin-stained world.
Sadly -- and you can see them in
the evening news -- there are
those who love the darkness. God
is reaching out to them, but they
slap His hand away. Jesus died to
save them, but they would rather
live for themselves. They love the
darkness and want nothing to do
with the light.
Many years ago, I had a seminary
professor who said, "Every man has
the God-given right to go to hell if
he wishes." These people, the
people of the darkness, are making
use of that right. This is why we
need to remember these people in
our prayers. We remember those
we see on the news, and we
remember those who are closer --
who are much closer -- to us our
friends and loved ones.

NAUGHTY BOYS !!

Two naughty boys, Sifiso and Siya,
steal a bag of oranges from their
home and decided to go to the
nearest cemetery to share the loot.
As
they are scaling the big gate to
enter the cemetery, two oranges
fall
out of the bag and are left behind at
the gate
A heavily drunk man on his way
from a local tavern passes near the
cemetery Gate and hears the
following:“ One for me, one for you.
yakwa yaku. One for me, one for
you.“
He immediately sobers up and runs
as fast as he can to the local
priest.“Mfundisi Come with me and
witness God and Satan sharing
corpses at the cemetery.“
They both run back to the cemetery
gate and the voices continue: “One
for me, one for you. yakwa yaku.“
Suddenly the one voice says:“ Now
they are finished, let‘s get the two
at the gate.”
The priest was the first to run for
dear life!

SMARTEST MUM

A Mom comes to visit her son John
who's living with a female roommate
named Samantha. John's mother
doesn't like the idea of her son
living with a woman, as he's in
college and doesn't need any
distractions. To ease his mother's
worries, John invites her to stay for
dinner.
During the course of the meal, his
mother couldn't help but notice
how pretty John's roommate was.
She had long been suspicious of a
relationship between the two and
this had only made her more
curious.
Over the course of the evening,
while watching the two interact,
she started to wonder if there was
more between John and his
roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John
volunteered, "I know what your
thinking Mom, but I assure you,
Samantha and I are just
roommates."
About a week later, Samantha came
to John saying, "Ever since your
mother came to dinner, I've been
unable to find the silver peanut
butter jar. You don't suppose she
took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I
doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be
sure."
So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take
the peanut butter jar from my
house, I'm not saying that you 'did
not' take the peanut butter jar. But
the fact remains that it has been
missing ever since you were here
for dinner.
Love,
John
Several days later, John received an
email from his Mother which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep
with Samantha, and I'm not saying
that you 'do not' sleep with
Samantha. But the fact remains that
if she was sleeping in her OWN
bed, she would have found the
peanut butter jar under her pillow...
Love,
Mom

MONEY MANIAC BOY

A
young Kikuyu boy goes off to
University of Nairobi from Muranga,
but about 1/3 of the way Through
the semester, he has foolishly
squandered away all of the money
his parents gave him. Then he gets
an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad,"
he says, "you won't believe the
wonders that modern education are
coming up with! Why ? they actually
have a program here at college that
will teach our dog Njamba how to
talk!" "That's absolutely amazing,"
his father says. "How do I get him in
that program?" "Just send him
down here with Ksh.5,000" the boy
says. "I'll get him into the course."
So, his father sends the dog and
the Ksh.5,000.. About 2/3 way
through the semester, the money
runs out. The boy calls his father
again. "So how's Njamba doing,
son," his father asks. "Awesome,
Dad, he's talking up a storm," he
says, "but you just won't believe
this - they've had such good results
with this program that they've
implemented a new one to teach
the animals how to READ!"
"READ," says his father, "No
kidding! What do I have to do to
get him in that program? " Just
send Ksh.15,000.., I'll get him in the
class." His father sends the money.
The boy now has a problem. At the
end of the year, his father will find
out that the dog can neither talk,
nor read. So he slits off the dogs
throat (Mungiki style). When he
gets home at the end of the
semester, his father is all excited.
"Where's Njamba? I just can't wait
to see him talk and read
something!" "Dad," the boy says, "I
have some grim news. Yesterday
morning, just before we left for
Nyamakima to catch our matatu
home, Njamba was in the room
kicking back in the recliner, reading
the standard newspaper, like he
usually does. Then he turned to me
and asked, ' Kamau, when can I get
my vote so that I can vote for ODM?
The father says, "I hope you slit the
throat of that son of a b…. before
he votes for ODM "I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"HAHAHAHAHAHA

MISCHIEVIOUS GRANNIES

Three mischievous
old Grannies were sitting on a
bench outside a nursing home.
When an old Grandpa walked by.
And one of the old Grandmas yelled
out saying, "We bet we can tell
exactly how old you are." The old
man said, "There is no way you can
guess it, you old fools." One of the
old Grandmas said, "Sure we can! -
Just drop your pants and under
shorts and we can tell your exact
age." Embarrassed just a little, but
anxious to prove they couldn't do it,
he dropped his drawers. The
Grandmas asked him to first turn
around a couple of times and to
jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said,
"You're 87 years old!" Standing
with his pants down around his
ankles, the old gent asked, "How in
the world did you guess?" Slapping
their knees and grinning from ear to
ear, the three old ladies happily
yelled in unison... "We were at your
birthday party yesterday!"

A wise kenyan kikuyu in diaspora

A Kikuyu and an American man
are sitting next to each other on a
long
flight from London to New York .
The American man leans over to the
Kikuyu and asks if he would like to
play a fun game. The Kikuyu just
wants to take a nap, so he politely
declines and rolls over to the
window to catch a few winks.
The American man persists and
explains that the game is real easy
and is a
lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a
question, and if you don't know the
answer, you pay me $5. Then you
ask me a question, and if I don't
know the
answer, I'll pay you $5."
Again, the Kikuyu politely declines
and tries to get to sleep.
The American man , now somewhat
agitated, says, "OK, if you don't
know the
answer you pay me $5, and if I don't
know the answer, I'll pay you $100!"
This catches the Kikuyu's attention,
and he sees no end to this torment
unless he plays, so he agrees to the
game.
The American asks the first
question. "What's the distance from
the earth
to the moon?" The Kikuyu doesn't
say a word, but reaches into his
wallet,
pulls out a five dollar bill and hands
it to the American.
Now, it's the Kikuyu's turn. He asks
the American "What goes up a hill
with three legs, and comes down
on four?"
The American looks up at him with a
puzzled look. He takes out his
laptop
computer and searches all of his
references. He taps into the
Airphone with
his modem and searches the net
and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he
sends e-mail to his co-workers-all to
no avail.
After about an hour, he wakes the
Kikuyu and hands him $100. The
Kikuyu
politely takes the $100 and turns
away to try to get back to sleep.
The
American, more than a little miffed,
shakes the
Kikuyu and asks "Well, so what's
the answer?" Without a word, the
Kikuyu reaches into his wallet,
hands the American $5, and turns
away to
get back to sleep.